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Jackie is still representing herself in court, during the filming of this film clip about her DIY Divorce.  
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RianaAvisWeb

It’s been a long time since my divorce. Seventeen years to be precise and that old cliché, time heals all things, comes to mind as I think back and find I remember very little about it.  There is one thing though that always stands out in my memory.  My children were aged 10 and 13 at the time. And I would NOT send them on holiday to their grandparents by themselves.  

 

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SarahTurnerIMG_3833

I was a divorcee throughout my 30's and whilst I enjoyed single parenthood with two children my greatest concern for the future was that I hadn't established a solid career before becoming a parent.

 

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iStock_000014063405WEBInterview with a young woman who's parents divorced when she was 9, and how it affected her.

 

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vanessashowlogoSuzy Miller of Starting Over Show on The Vanessa Show March 2011

     

 

 

Share your own starting over story: email us here {loadposition suzymail}

 

 

marinapearson

It has taken me a long while to finally write about life after my divorce, and how I found myself waiting in line to take my life at the Beth Israel Hospital in New York City.

 

 

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Ian Taylor shares his experience of an amicable divorce.......

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Why it can be a good thing to "crash and burn" - Andy and Di share their starting over stories.
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'Living Hindsight':

 
I am an experienced Personal Mentor and Inspirational Speaker and have survived divorce, my Mum’s physical and mental illnesses, parental bereavements and six redundancies over my 30-year career.

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DiAndyAustria

In January 2008 I took the biggest leap of faith in my life.  I packed my car with my most treasured belongings, which when it came down to it, were one suitcase of clothes, my personal development books, my motivational CD’s and my Border Collie….. and drove 500 miles south to start again at the age of 40.

 

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nici_dyson

I grew up in a wonderful loving and secure family environment, where in fact divorce was scorned upon.

 

I can even remember when I was at school and bringing home a friend from school my parents would ask if the parents were married.

 

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No-one would deny the blissful sense of belonging as a newly wed and the deepest bond imaginable with your new spouse. That of certified love and a long and happy life path ahead strewn with excited anticipation of children, country houses and walking the dogs arm in arm.

 

 

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Breakdown

I remember standing outside my house knowing it was to be sold and with no idea whether I would see a penny of it, three young kids, no career, and a fortieth birthday looming. I felt like such a fool, and really guilty for having got my kids into this position, even though I really hadn't seen it coming.

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A Strange Gift

Unplanned solo parenting by Suzy Miller

 

It's a January morning in 2003 and I can't bring myself to take the kids to school. What will I say when someone asks me "How are you?" The answer, you see, is just not the stuff of polite conversation. "W E L L… My partner of ten years has just dumped me. I was supposed to live with him into old age. I had no idea he wasn't happy. I loved the bastard. But that was only the half of it - he has dumped me with three kids under seven. With not enough savings to build a realist future. With no job. With a house that was going to be sold to pay off debts. With no pension. With a fortieth birthday coming up that year. Fuckin’ ‘ell.

 

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Interview: Suzy Miller by Allison Ferne 02.12.09

 

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Michelle is part of the SOS London Divorce Makeover, and she is accessing free information and inspirational advice and sharing her experiences with us.

 

For an introduction to Michelle's adventure, read on.....

Michelle is taking part in the "SOS London Divorce Makeover". This means she will benefit from some free advice and inspiration from a selection of our SOS exhibitors who have generously donated their time to show what options and choices are available to someone going through divorce or relationship breakup. The story begins with Michelle telling us about the complexity and pain of her situation...... 

 

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Julia Armstrong interviews Andrew Nicholson and Diane MacDowall on Holistic Personal Development.  Their own relationship mirrors their work and their meeting one another and subsequent move to live and work together was a love story that was picked up national papers and magazines! Di tells us about it during the interview.

 

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My experience:

After several long relationships that had broken down I felt that my most resent one had to be different. Always cutting off all links and not keeping it touch at all in the past and being miserable for a long time, I thought " I am older and wiser" I can do this.

 

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I started divorce proceedings in January 06 after my husband came home one weekend in December and announced - quote – ‘I want children but not with you. There’s no-one else’. He disappeared back to Plymouth the next day.  I believed him for a few weeks, the epitaph of 12 years together  - me being an unsuitable mother for his future children - hanging around my neck like a millstone. That is, until First Direct bank informed me he’d withdrawn cash in Birmingham when he said he’d been in Plymouth. Ironically, they sent me the apology letter, so I guess they were responsible for me initiating my divorce.

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“I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BIRD SINGS” OR “FREE AT LAST”

After 20 years of marriage/loss of freedom, I finally was free. I had waited four years to find the right time to go or for him to go and for our children to be a bit older.

On Easter Sunday 2008, it was his 60th birthday and I had painted the kitchen daffodil yellow and filled it with daffodils. (He always wanted daffodils on his birthday equivalent to the number of years.) I announced that I was FREE and he was FREE but had no idea about how it would happen.

 

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imageThis time last year I was on my plane setting off for Thailand.

I just had a quick squizz back at my blogs from last year..

Here’s today’s entry: (2006 style)

 

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Beginning Life Again

My life turned upside down over 15 years ago when my marriage was over and since that time I have been on a very long journey – the road has been bumpy with unexpected twists and turns and the occasional large pothole that I have fallen down; and many an unhappy tear has been shed along the way.

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I split up with my husband 5 years ago.  I was left with two very vulnerable children aged 9 and 10.  My son wasn't to effected but my daughter, well, what can I say, we would have made an unforgettable 'Supernanny' episode.  It was a nightmare, all communication, boundaries and behaviour had totally broken down cos for the previous 6 years I had been trying to get my loveless marriage to be something near normal, but my husband wasn't interested in me, my confidence had been drained and I was all but an empty shell the real 'Kelly' had dissolved.

 

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I decided to set up Confident ladies after going through some life changes myself and after each of these I was left thinking 'Ok, what do I do now?'

 

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I asked my friends to say 'something nice about their Ex' - this is what they said!!!

 

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Angels-5 An artist who creates inspiring images is Alex Florschutz, who herself has started over as a single woman with a young son and is now establishing herself as a talented artist, and also qualified as an art psychotherapist.

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Scott  spends most of his evenings and weekends working with and photographing couples who are getting married.  Ironically, whilst creating memorable images of countless weddings, Scott has  experienced a financially aggressive divorce which went on for over  two years.  Despite the `settlement' made in court – which he found a horrible process of emotional bullying which brought out the worst in everyone involved - he still found himself needing to obtain legal and financial advice as new issues arose around issues of child access and ongoing discussions on maintenance amounts.

 

Scott has been through the usual stages of bewilderment, anger and then acceptance that is similar to the grieving process.  Having had some very bad experiences with the solicitors who represented him during the divorce, Scott has found more success in representing himself (he obtained a defined contact order for his son – not an easy feat!) but it is the support and advice he has gained through getting sympathetic and practical advice from not just the financial and mediation professionals he has spoken to, but also from the work/life balance professionals he has worked with.  He found Fathers For Justice particularly helpful, providing ready made legal forms for him to complete and giving him the confidence to represent himself in court.

 

Scott has moved forward in his life, building his increasingly successful business and working towards building new and lasting relationships with his children.  By taking responsibility for his own future and learning how to allow others to help him, whether it is as friends or in a professional capacity, starting over has been a painful but deeply rewarding experience.

 

Scott Collier is the owner of the franchise for Snappy Snaps Mayfair, has his own successful wedding/event photography business and is also an accredited professional on CertainShops (an online directory of professionals whose previous clients have raved about them).

 

Because of his own ‘starting over’ experiences, Scott sees real value in encouraging people to record memorable, positive and wonderful images of families and friends even when  going through difficult times, which is why he exhibited at the first live UK Starting Over Show event in March 2009, and is exhibiting at the SOS Surrey/Hamphire border road shows with a live photostudio at the event.

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Share your own starting over story: email us here {loadposition suzymail}